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    Depressed, or Just Down?

      Everyone gets the blues now and then, so how do you know when your low feelings are a passing inconvenience or a signal of something more troubling? We’ll talk about some of the warning signs to look for. But whether it turns out that you’re depressed — or just down — there are a […]

    Take 5: How to De-stress, Recenter and Focus With Mindfulness

      Ahead of a public speaking event, I found myself struggling with a bout of pregame nerves. But instead of panicking, I did something I often advise clients to do. I sat down and practiced breath mindfulness for five minutes, which calmed and centered me and helped me focus. In the end, the event went […]

    What Really Matters to You? Find Out.

    They call it the “daily grind” for a reason: Days flash by as you hustle to satisfy an unappreciative boss, overcommit to community fundraisers and attend social events to keep up “appearances.” We humans have a finite amount of time and energy. All too often we spend too much of it reacting to the demands […]

    When Your Brain Lies to You

    Our brain usually sizes up situations quickly and accurately — but not always. Sometimes, our brain gets it all wrong. When that happens, and we accept what it’s telling us without question, we can experience needless pain and suffering. For example, if I see a neighbor while I’m walking in the park, I act friendly […]

    Moving Through Trauma: How Individual Therapy Can Help

    In two previous posts, we explored how trauma can affect individuals and impact couples. In many cases, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy can help both the traumatized individual and their partner. However, there are times when individual treatment may also be useful. Trauma takes many forms. It can happen any time events occur that change a […]

    Healing Traumatized Relationships

    In a previous post, we explored the ways in which trauma from years or even decades ago could affect your relationship today. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is an effective way to combat those aftereffects and get your relationship to a more stable and satisfying place. The echoes of trauma can wreak havoc on relational […]

    7 Happiness Habits for Couples

    Like most other worthwhile things in life, being happy often takes work — and that holds true for individuals and couples alike. Here are seven happiness habits that you can adopt in your relationship starting today. 1. Focus on Sharing Experiences vs. Things. Time and money spent on vacation, for example, versus a fancy new […]

    Where A.R.E. you in your relationship?

    If you’ve ever attended a party celebrating a 30-, 40-, or 50-year anniversary, one of the most common questions asked of the couple is this: what’s the secret to a lasting marriage.Perhaps the couple has a formula of their own that is a testament to their relationship success. There are many responses:   Never go […]

    The Secret of Long-Term Marriages: Marital Friendship

    What’s the secret to longevity in a relationship? What are the behaviors and strategies that separate a 3-year relationship from a 60-year one? In other words, how does love last? According to Dr. John Gottman, it’s marital friendship. Marital friendship is the foundation in Gottman’s Sound Relationship House theory.   The thing that sustains a […]

    Are you and your partner stuck in a ‘demon dialogue’

      When we feel a sense of impending loss and isolation, there are usually three ways in which we respond. If we are happy in a secure union, we can easily accept our need for emotional connection and communicate those needs in a way that invites our partner to respond lovingly. Strained relationships, however, are […]

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