• Tag Archives: couples therapy

    Living — Together — With ADHD

    Living with a partner who has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or living with a partner while having ADHD, can be challenging at times. Compensatory ADHD strategies can work well for both individuals and the relationship. Remember, you’re in this together.   ADHD is a cluster of behaviors that can include hyperactivity, difficulty maintaining attention […]

    Feeling vs. Fixing

      When Joe suggested that his wife Anita hire another worker for her business, he was trying to be helpful. So he was surprised by her sharp response: “That’s not what I need right now. Stop telling me what to do.”   After all, Anita had approached Joe to talk about her frustration with her […]

    What’s a Panic Attack?

      Tanya squeezed into the crowded elevator. She was running five minutes late for a meeting and now wished she hadn’t taken the time for a second cup of coffee that morning. Suddenly she became keenly aware of the number of people packed into the small space. Then she noticed that her breathing felt a […]

    The Hidden Dangers of Meaning Well

      The day Becky unexpectedly lost her job, her first reaction was shock. Worse, her husband Bill, who was struggling with multiple sclerosis, was barely able to move — much less work. How would she tell him?   So Becky decided not to tell Bill until she could get another job, when there was a […]

    Procrastination — It’s Making Me Late

      Songstress Carly Simon had a big hit in 1971 with the title track on her second album, “Anticipation.” The chorus? “… is making me late.” For many of us, it might have been more relevant if she’d sung “procrastination.”   As I procrastinate writing this blog, I’m simultaneously observing what’s going on inside me […]

    How to Make Health Activities More Fun

    While our neighbors in the north prepare for winter’s chill to take hold, this is the time of year where Floridians begin thinking about being outdoors again. Fall and winter in Florida are a respite from the mid-90s temperatures of summer, giving us a chance to get more activity and movement in our daily lives. […]

    Compartmentalization: The Good and the Bad

      Avoiding emotions is often an unhealthy — or at least unhelpful — reaction, but not always. Compartmentalization is one type of avoidance. And at times, it can be a crucial strength, rather than a weakness.   Compartmentalizing, or putting aside conscious thought about a situation or emotion to avoid engaging with it, can be […]

    Couples Therapy for You — And Your Kids

    If you or your partner are hesitant about couples therapy, think about this: Like a wildfire, dysfunction in the relationship between parents doesn’t end where it starts. It spreads, and children are the first ones in its path of destruction. While couples therapy is primarily designed to help partners establish a healthy, flourishing relationship, the […]

    Can You Learn Your Way Out of a Bad Marriage?

      Few things can have a greater impact on your happiness than the quality of your marriage. Yet, children spend more time in school learning about abstract mathematical concepts than about what makes a marriage succeed.   Marriage education has a long and complicated history, as much of it was directed at reinforcing social or […]

    Life Tools vs. Quick Fixes

    Partners beginning Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) sometimes ask for “tools” to help improve their relationship. The research-based tools of EFT are not “just do this” or “try to remember that.” Instead, the life tools that I work to give them include hope, transparency and agency.   The longing for connection and desire to reduce […]

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