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  • All Posts in Category: Blog

    Two different approaches to Couples Therapy

    There were two marital research pioneers in the early 70s and 80s. Each quietly and painstakingly gathering data on what it takes how to create and keep happy lasting relationships. Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson’s work brought structure (empirical evidence) to previously considered unpredictable and chaotic couples therapy work. Today, Gottman and Johnson […]

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    Are You Suppressing Your Emotions or Your Relationship?

    There has been plenty of research done to show that suppressing emotions within a relationship also shuts down communication. One scientist who studies emotion, James Gross, found that when we try to suppress emotion: It essentially doesn’t work We often get increasingly agitated and tense, which is particularly true in close relationships. In a close […]

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    Are You Falling for These Five Marriage Myths?

    There’s an abundance of marriage advice available these days, a lot of it useful, some of it insightful, but a portion of it just plain wrong. According to Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the Gottman Institute, these are what we call marriage myths. Age-old “hand-me-down” wisdom that, despite science’s best efforts, seems to […]

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    The Secret to Lasting Love in An Age of Instant Gratification

    According to Dr. Sue Johnson, we can boil troubles within a relationship down to a singular cause: a loss of connection met with a desire to connect. It’s our inability to effectively communicate that desire (usually due to feelings of hurt, guilt, or fear) that prevents the relationship from moving forward. From healing the wound […]

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    Are You Making This Relationship Mistake?

    Stonewalling is a term used to describe when an individual withdraws from interaction. This is also commonly described as “shutting down,” whereby the listener effectively closes themselves off from the speaker due to feeling overwhelmed.  If you took stock of all your romantic relationships, you’d probably be able to find several instances (probably more) of […]

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    The Surprising Reasons for Your Yo-Yo Relationships

    Sometimes relationships can make us feel stuck. Like a planet locked in orbit. Even if we know and understand the relationship may not be the best for us at the time. Perhaps we’ve even had the courage to leave. Once. Twice. A few times. But somehow, we always find ourselves being pulled back to the […]

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    Monogamy: too hard or hard-wired?

    Monogamy and vulnerability are taking some hits these days as casual relationships are on this rise. It seems like everywhere we look individuals are growing averse to labeling their romantic interactions. This is particularly true for millennials who tend to prefer casual engagements over exclusivity. Or, if they do opt for monogamy, still engage in […]

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    The Secret To Relationship Success Is Healthy Attachment

    The field of family and couple’s therapy has undergone a big shift in recent decades, moving into a focus on adult functioning and adult relationships. With this shift, we have seen the effects changes in attachment can have on self and system. And in fact, understanding attachment can integrate the two. Dr. Sue Johnson, a […]

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    Which Of These 7 Love Systems Describes Your Relationship? (Part 2)

    In our last post we discussed renowned relationship expert, Margaret Paul, Ph.D.’s, theory of the different systems which direct and drive our relationships. In this post, we’ll be finishing up by examining the final four systems and taking a peak into Paul’s suggestions for how to overcome unhealthy relationship dynamics and move towards a healthier […]

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    Which Of These 7 Love Systems Describes Your Relationship? (Part 1)

    Margaret Paul, Ph.D., is a best-selling author, relationship expert, and Inner Bonding® facilitator. And she has a theory about relationships. “Every relationship has a system,” Paul declares. She is, of course, referring to the system by which the relationship operates. Sometimes, and ideally, the system will emerge from love, but probably more often, it arises […]

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