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  • All Posts in Category: Blog

    Cheating: A Trauma of Trust

    One out of five married partners has cheated, according to research reported on WebMd. And while you might be tempted to lay the lion’s share of that blame squarely on the shoulders of husbands, that would be misguided — the National Opinion Research Center study WebMd cites indicates that wives and husbands are equally likely […]

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    Don’t Let Fight Lead to Flight: Benefits of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy

    Mary is preparing dinner and can’t help but notice the rhythmic dripping of the kitchen faucet. “I asked Bill to take care of that 2 weeks ago — he never listens to me,” she thinks, taking her anger out on the pork chops she’s tenderizing. She approaches her husband, whose attention is focused on the […]

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    Couples Therapy 101

    Couples therapy is a relatively recent development in the field of professional counseling, first gaining popularity in the 1950s. Its purpose is to improve interpersonal dynamics and satisfaction within marital and other intimate relationships. Many circumstances can lead a couple to enter therapy — such as jealousy, affairs, and financial, religious, parenting or other conflicts. […]

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    Where A.R.E. you in your relationship?

    If you’ve ever attended a party celebrating a 30-, 40-, or 50-year anniversary, one of the most common questions asked of the couple is this: what’s the secret to a lasting marriage.Perhaps the couple has a formula of their own that is a testament to their relationship success. There are many responses:   Never go […]

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    The Secret of Long-Term Marriages: Marital Friendship

    What’s the secret to longevity in a relationship? What are the behaviors and strategies that separate a 3-year relationship from a 60-year one? In other words, how does love last? According to Dr. John Gottman, it’s marital friendship. Marital friendship is the foundation in Gottman’s Sound Relationship House theory.   The thing that sustains a […]

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    Are you and your partner stuck in a ‘demon dialogue’

      When we feel a sense of impending loss and isolation, there are usually three ways in which we respond. If we are happy in a secure union, we can easily accept our need for emotional connection and communicate those needs in a way that invites our partner to respond lovingly. Strained relationships, however, are […]

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    3 Revelations from Sue Johnson’s Love Sense

    Love. That great mystery. Musicians write songs about it, poets write poems about, and scientists try to discover and identify its inner workings. It’s no secret that love is an unruly, unpredictable, and powerful force. The driving force for many of us, whether that’s romantic or platonic love. But what is really happening when we’re […]

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    Two different approaches to Couples Therapy

    There were two marital research pioneers in the early 70s and 80s. Each quietly and painstakingly gathering data on what it takes how to create and keep happy lasting relationships. Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson’s work brought structure (empirical evidence) to previously considered unpredictable and chaotic couples therapy work. Today, Gottman and Johnson […]

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    Are You Suppressing Your Emotions or Your Relationship?

    There has been plenty of research done to show that suppressing emotions within a relationship also shuts down communication. One scientist who studies emotion, James Gross, found that when we try to suppress emotion: It essentially doesn’t work We often get increasingly agitated and tense, which is particularly true in close relationships. In a close […]

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    Are You Falling for These Five Marriage Myths?

    There’s an abundance of marriage advice available these days, a lot of it useful, some of it insightful, but a portion of it just plain wrong. According to Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the Gottman Institute, these are what we call marriage myths. Age-old “hand-me-down” wisdom that, despite science’s best efforts, seems to […]

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