Multiple studies have found that women are overwhelmingly more likely to seek out therapy in comparison to men. In numerous psychological studies, the conclusions have narrowed down to particularly one thing and that is socialization. The way the men are brought up to navigate the world does not include the disclosure of feelings or weakness. Men grow up in a world that uses the phrase “man up” when a male sheds tears or complains about pain (both physical and mental). In contrast, women are stereotyped to be much more emotionally and physically weak. This social “truth” has made it easier for women to openly seek therapeutic help without the concern for cultural backlash.

However, and this may be news to you, men also have emotions that should be expressed. And if there is a culture that tells them to suppress their negative emotions, then they will either be embarrassed to seek help or so out of touch with their emotions that it doesn’t even occur to them that they need help. Men then turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms that manifest in the form of anger, impulsiveness, binge drinking, drugs, and more.

How can we make it so that men seek the help they need for a healthier, more beneficial method of addressing emotional and mental issues? For one, we can encourage men to get in touch with their feelings and encourage the men in our lives to seek help whenever they need it without social lash back. And two, we can guide them to counselors who have the knowledge needed to specifically break down the walls men have learned to create for themselves.

Therapists who specialize in working with men know that it is crucial to employ these three tenants when catering to men:

1. In general, it will take longer for men to come to face with vulnerability. When you’re not used to being so open it will take some time to get comfortable. Therapists should not rush the process and analyze each individual client to adjust their pace. Building up trust is crucial and does not happen overnight.
2. As mentioned previously, men often turn to unhealthy forms of coping. Thus therapists should be mindful, respectful and patient when engaging with clients.
3. It’s often found that men respond well to a collaborative relationship rather than being told “what to do.” Thus, therapists should allow men to feel empowered and active in goal setting and solution building.

If you are a man struggling with emotional and mental conflicts, or care for someone who does, you should consider seeking a qualified therapist. They can help you reverse the social norm of bottling up emotions and get to the root of your internal struggle. You will thank yourself for it as you see your life and relationships improving positively. If your therapist fails to adhere to understanding standards then you might need to search for a new one. Licensed Mental Health Counselor John Gallagher of Couples Therapy Orlando is a therapist in Central Florida that understands how men operate. His experience with men makes him a great candidate to be your therapist. Visit the website or call (407) 579-2070 for more information.