Countless people feel intimidated and frightened by the idea of couples therapy. It’s no wonder, since people often feel awkward and difficult when meeting someone new, especially if they’re telling a stranger about their intimate brawls. As a result, couples will attempt to figure out the problems themselves to either save money or save themselves from perceived shame. If you are someone who decides to go down that road, then these are some free pieces of advice that couples therapists want you to know.

Going With The Flow Doesn’t Exactly Work

Just doing what comes instinctively to you in a relationship may not be the best method for a happy and successful relationship. Learning to make your own flow rather than going with the flow can help you foster your emotional and sexual connection with your partner. That means you need a healthy and balanced connection with the correct set of relationship skills, rather than doing the same thing over and over that isn’t really working.

The Same Fight Is A Serious Issue

Couples tend to cling to the familiar unconsciously, hoping that similar situations will turn out otherwise and ease the pain. Nevertheless, paying serious attention to these issues will help you see the pattern, get down to the core of the problem, and encourage growth in the relationship. Don’t think your relationship will just fix itself in intense fashion like the movies. In real life, you should take time to let each other into your internal world and speak about your feelings.

Always Remember To Be Compassionate

There will be many fights and disagreements that unluckily cause each other pain. But, therapists say that it’s not so much the fight that matters as much as the healing. Learning to always remain empathetic and compassionate with one another can help couples overcome temporary issues and likely even reinforce relationships.

Use Anger

“Wait, what did you just say?” Yes! You can actually use anger to help your relationship. Being angry can actually allow you to reflect and reflect on why you’re angry, figure out what’s wrong, and think about the steps to fix the issue. Staying mad is not what you want to do, instead use anger to your benefit by cooling down and letting it lead you to the core of the problem

Give Tough Talks The Time They Need 

It’s already tremendously hard to talk about your feelings, but the tough talks can be the worst. You probably want to get through them as fast as possible. Though, in order to have a successful relationship, you need to give these talks the time and space they require. Talk face to face in a location free of distractions and stay attentive. Time outs are okay if essential, but always come back to the discussion.

If you are having problems with your relationship, try enacting these rules for successful relationships. If that doesn’t prove to be fruitful, then seriously contemplate the assistance of a licensed therapist. Many people come to therapy many years too late. Don’t be one of those people and get help for you and your relationship!