Relationships are some of the most complex and dynamic facets of being human. It’s no surprise that navigating these waters can get messy and sometimes things go awry. Whether it’s to address the indiscretions of a partner or dysfunctional communication skills, there are many benefits to couples’ therapy. However, due to the intricate and delicate nature of romantic relationships, there are many myths in circulation regarding seeking counseling services.
Below is a list of three common myths and misconceptions surrounding couples therapy:
1. “The couples therapist will assign fault and blame”
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Any good therapist does their best to maintain a healthy and ethical boundary between themselves and that of each member of the couple. The purpose of the couples’ therapist is to facilitate communication and understanding. Helping partners to see from the other person’s point of view and each accepting their part in the current situation. A good couples therapist would never encourage destructive behavior or dole out blame—each partner should feel that their therapist is in their corner.
2. “Couples therapy will teach us how to always agree or avoid conflict”
Couples therapy does not take all conflict away or prevent all future arguments. Rather, the result of good couples therapy produces an ability to disagree in a more loving way. Couples learn how to deal with rocky moments free of damaging harshness or withdrawal. They learn to avoid the “win-lose” quality that creates injuries to the attachment bond. Good therapy helps couples learn how to “lean into the tough stuff together.” In this way, those dangerous moments of disconnection evolve into an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and deepen the bond.
3. “You know you’re divorcing, so there’s no point in therapy”
False. The dissolution of a relationship can be exceedingly stressful, particularly if there are shared assets, children, or mutual friendships involved. Couples therapy is not only reserved for those wishing to salvage struggling relationships, but also for those wanting to attempt an amicable split. A therapist can help partners move past anger and resolve lingering issues while maintaining focus and working in the best interest of all members of a family.