Our brain usually sizes up situations quickly and accurately — but not always. Sometimes, our brain gets it all wrong. When that happens, and we accept what it’s telling us without question, we can experience needless pain and suffering. For example, if I see a neighbor while I’m walking in the park, I act friendly […]
All Posts in Category: Blog
Moving Through Trauma: How Individual Therapy Can Help
In two previous posts, we explored how trauma can affect individuals and impact couples. In many cases, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy can help both the traumatized individual and their partner. However, there are times when individual treatment may also be useful. Trauma takes many forms. It can happen any time events occur that change a […]
Healing Traumatized Relationships
In a previous post, we explored the ways in which trauma from years or even decades ago could affect your relationship today. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is an effective way to combat those aftereffects and get your relationship to a more stable and satisfying place. The echoes of trauma can wreak havoc on relational […]
How Trauma Can Affect Your Relationship
Most of us hear about how traumatic experiences leave a lasting impact on soldiers, first responders and victims of crime. But even events that aren’t life-threatening can result in stress that wreaks havoc on intimate relationships. Sadly, even fairly commonplace occurrences can create trauma — for example, babies whose parents rarely respond to their cries. […]
Couples and Depression
Depression is an alarmingly common psychological disorder that affects approximately one in 15 adults in the U.S. annually, with one in six suffering from it during their lifetime. Statistically, women report this condition more often with an average age of onset in the late teens to mid-twenties. The global pandemic is making matters worse with […]
Alcohol Abuse in Relationships: A Cocktail for Conflict
Many couples commemorate birthdays, celebrate the completion of a big home project or admire a beautiful sunset on vacation with a beer or merlot in hand. Alcohol can be part of shared recreational activities, too, such as visiting a craft brewery or sampling wines. Almost every recreational venue serves alcohol, and it’s often a rite […]
Feeling Angry? That’s Not Necessarily a Bad Thing
When I sit with an arguing couple in a session, I often feel hopeful. Here’s why: Anger is an emotion that often says, “I care,” and, “This is important to me.” The opposite of love isn’t anger; it’s indifference. If we don’t care, we don’t get angry. We just get quiet and withdraw. As long […]
A Therapist’s Advice on Choosing a Therapist
Reaching out for help on mental health challenges can be difficult. You may feel embarrassed or confused. You could be dealing with a new stressful situation in your life, or be confronted with newfound, fatigue or concentration problems. When this happens, starting the search for a counselor might seem overwhelming. But making the effort to […]
Grounding: A Simple Technique to Help Manage Stress
Our species survived by being on “alert” against all manner of dangers: from large animals, from intruders and from nature. Our brains evolved into exquisite predictors of peril that game out things that could go wrong and how to avoid them. That’s one of the reasons we’re at the top of the food chain. Good […]
Valentine’s Day Got You Down? EFT Can Help
This can be a tough time for many who struggle in their relationship. Everywhere you turn, there’s heart-shaped candy boxes, teddy bears, red roses and other painful reminders that your relationship just isn’t where you want it to be. As you hear about your friends’ Valentine’s Day plans for romantic getaways, candlelit dinners and the […]