Have you ever noticed that you can sense what your partner feels, even without exchanging words?  For instance, have you ever been able to sense when your partner is worried, sad or upset?  Have you ever felt sadness within yourself while comforting a sad loved one?  Have you ever felt embarrassment for a loved one in an uncomfortable situation?   This ability to “read” each other is not a romantic fiction, but rather a function of our human nervous system.  Science has recently identified a type of brain cell known as the Mirror Neuron.  These mirror neurons are distributed throughout our brains.  These amazing little cells actually enable us to feel the emotions of the people we care about. It’s like a human WIFI system keeping us emotionally engaged.

You might wonder why it’s important for us to feel each other’s emotions. It is important because feeling the emotions of those we love better positions us to signal back in an attuned and empathetic way.   When our feelings are in tune with one another a clear message is sent:  “I am with you and your feelings are important. “ For instance, a grieving wife mourning the loss of a parent is comforted by the parallel sadness she reads in the eyes of her loving husband.  “Feeling” with each other works much better than aloof suggestions or detached “fixes.”   Mirror neuron interactions are crucial for loving relationships.

Research also shows that conflict and excessive negative emotion can disrupt this amazing mirror neuron system.  Disengaged couples are no longer as able to send and receive clear accurate messages.  This leaves partners feeling unheard and unimportant in the eyes of their partners.   This contributes to further relational disengagement.  If you and your partner are having trouble sending and receiving clear emotional messages to each other there is something you can do.   Emotionally Focused Couple therapy is a research based therapy which has been proven to help couples reconnect.  Call John Gallagher, LMHC at 407-579-2070 to schedule a meeting with a certified EFT Therapist.